


Say Something Real

by kate7h



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104th Training Corps - Freeform, Cadets, Canon Compliant, Combat Training, Eremika - Freeform, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6802924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate7h/pseuds/kate7h
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Mikasa practice combat training together, until harsh words push them too far. Set during 104th training cadet years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reckless Rage

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to put this as part of my other work 'I Will Love You Better Now,' but I figured I wouldn't, since this is gonna be a 2-parter. Enjoy!

It was over two years into their cadet training, and Eren had worked long and hard to be at the level he was. His scores in the bookwork and statistical training were adequate, overall pretty good, so he would take it. His scores in the omnidirectional gear were a somewhat above average, but he was one of the top of the class in hand-to-hand combat. He'd worked hard for that, so he was happy that he could throw virtually anyone. Except Annie, who'd showed him how. And, of course, Mikasa.

His teeth ground, but not in anger, at least not wholly. In resolution. He'd been assigned to practice with Mikasa that afternoon, and he was determined to beat her at least once. Eren couldn't remember a single time when he'd actually be able to beat her in a fight. She was just so strong, insanely so, yet she seemed to care about as much as Annie did, or even less. She only wanted to baby him, which made him want to rip his hair out. 

Well, not today.

"You ready?" he called to her, taking a ready stance. 

She nodded, even though she wasn't doing much more than standing there. Eren sucked in a breath, then launched himself at her, and even then she didn't move. He knew how she fought. He knew she was baiting him.

As she moved, fast and strong in her swing, he side-stepped out of her grasp, kicking at her shin to bring her down quickly.

Unfortunately, she knew how he fought as well.

In a split second, he was on his back in the dust, Mikasa standing over him as if she hadn't moved a muscle. Eren sneered, getting back to his feet.

"Again!" he shouted. 

Mikasa almost looked… bored. Rage filled him as he charged her again. And then landed on the ground once more.

"Maybe we should take a break," Mikasa said dully, and Eren scowled at her. 

"No way. No way in hell. I'll do this all day," Eren ground out. "Don't even bother holding back, 'cause I sure as hell won't!"

Her mouth turned down as she looked away, pulling her scarf up over her nose.  _ Does she even care? _ After a moment, she turned back to him, cold resolution in her face. "Fine."

This time, Mikasa came at him way faster than Eren was expecting. He only had a moment to gasp as Mikasa grabbed him, nearly flipping him completely. Her hold wasn't as secure as she'd meant it to be, and in that moment of distraction, he slipped out enough to get a good kick into her ribs. It wasn't really fair, but Eren was too worked up to care. Mikasa grunted, easing up enough for Eren to flip them over, giving himself the advantage and freeing his arms. 

But still, Mikasa was stronger than him, and even with that advantage of leverage, she trapped his legs with her own, pulling him off balance to land on his face in the dirt, and with quick hands, she pulled his arm behind his back, pushing him down harder.

"Dammit-! Get off!" he shouted, and she did, leaving him gasping on the ground. 

What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Why wasn't he able to be strong like her? Why'd she have to throw it in his face that he never would be?

"Eren, are you okay?" Mikasa asked, and he felt her hands on his back.

Eren shoved her away, wiping his lip as he stood up. "Again."

"Eren…" Mikasa said. "What good is this gonna do?"

He blinked, confused. "What're you talking about?"

She shook her head. "Why are you getting so worked up about this? Does it matter that much for you to beat me?"

Her tone was level, her usual monotone, but Eren couldn't help but bristle at the condescending words. "Just shut the hell up and fight me!"

Her frown sank deeper, but she obliged. They were at it like that for the rest of the afternoon, and Eren was starting to feel the exhaustion settling into his body. Why was he fighting so hard? What had triggered this intense desperation he felt to fight her? To beat her just once? Why did he have to prove to her and to himself that he was strong enough to do this? Images flashed before him of the men who murdered and stole just because they could. Because they were strong. They were dead now because Eren was lucky, and he was alive because Mikasa was strong.

His mind flashed to his rubbled house, his mother crushed and inaccessible. Maybe if he'd been strong like Mikasa, she'd still be alive, like he was. 

Mikasa threw him to the ground once more, leaving him huffing, grunting as he got to his feet once more, nothing but resolution to see this through keeping him going.

She side eyed him, then looked away. "I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore."

"What, are you bored or something?" Eren shouted, wiping the blood from his chin.

She turned, standing across from him, her eyes hard as she repeated herself in a firm voice. "I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore."

Eren's lungs heaved and he looked down, bracing his knees as he caught his breath. He was aware they had an audience by now, but his focus was solely on Mikasa. He should just call it quits. Mikasa was obviously upset by all this; it wasn't often she said something like that, at least, for herself. He should stop. But the fire was burning within him, and it was hard to think rationally at that point.

"Once more."

Mikasa didn't argue, she didn't say a word as she readied herself, and judging by her stance, her expression, she was set on ending it quick. Despite the exhaustion Eren was feeling in his very bones, he refused to go down that easy.

She moved first, and Eren was surprised at how sloppy her movement was. It was off, it was slow, and it was enough for Eren to take advantage of that opening. Within seconds, they were on the ground again, more evenly matched than they had been all day. Mikasa cursed, her usually smooth voice sharp in his ear as she struggled to get him into a headlock. He tried to twist out of her grip, but couldn't quite get it. So instead, he pressed his feet into the ground, shoving her painfully into the dirt.

"Why does this matter so much to you?" she asked, her voice raw.

Eren huffed, getting a hold of one of her wrists, yanking her arm from his neck. "How could it not?!" Eren replied, not having nearly enough energy to filter himself. "You want me to just- sit here and take this shit?!"

"What're you talking about!" Mikasa's voice raised, something she never did. It should have been a warning sign, but Eren probably wouldn't have listened anyway.

"I should've just let you save yourself, since you're so strong!" 

Her hands stilled as he felt her go limp against him. Without thinking, he flipped over, pinning her down. She didn't resist, so it could hardly count as a win. Not that he much cared. His words hung heavy in the air, and most anyone listening wouldn't have known the significance. Armin would know. Eren knew. And most importantly, Mikasa knew.

"Eren!" he heard Armin's voice, and instantly he released her. All that rage seemed to drain out of him as he played the words back in his mind, intense regret taking it's place. Honestly, he regretted them as soon as they passed through his lips. 

Mikasa pulled herself up without a word and walked away. Eren's stomach sank as he watched her scarf fall silently to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa knew her own strength, physical and emotional. She knew what she could take, and Eren had quite a bit to dish out. But ever since the moment she met him, she knew he was a good person. She _knew_ that, even as he screamed, blood splattering all over him as he killed the men who'd taken her. He did it because it was right. She'd never doubted his heart.
> 
> But if he would take that back because she annoyed him, that was cause enough for her to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this finished before I even posted the first chapter... Sorry I hadn't posted it until now! Oops! Life just got crazy. Sorry for the wait, and I hope this part give you more closure.

It was stupid to cry. Mikasa knew her own strength, physical and emotional. She knew what she could take, and Eren had quite a bit to dish out. But ever since the moment she met him, she knew he was a good person. She _knew_ that, even as he screamed, blood splattering all over him as he killed the men who'd taken her. He did it because it was right. She'd never doubted his heart.

But if he would take that back because she annoyed him, that was cause enough for her to start.

Mikasa's hand went to her neck, only for her fingers to grasp air. _That's right_ , she thought solemnly. _I dropped it._ She resisted the immense urge to go out to the training ground to find it and wrap it around herself as quickly as she could. One stupid, carelessly cruel thing from Eren wasn't going to make her turn away from him forever. She had a duty to fulfil. To Carla, to Eren, and to herself.

If only her eyes would stop watering, then she could actually do it. But it had hurt more than she cared to admit. She knew, deep down, that Eren couldn't have meant what he'd implied. He _couldn't_. That life she would've had if he hadn't saved her, she only just in recent years fully grasped what her nine-year-old mind could not. The horrors she would have had to endure. Eren would never wish that on her. And yet, his words laid that grain of doubt in her heart.

She wiped at her eyes, sitting in the corner of the tower alone. It wasn't technically her duty for that position, but the cadets who'd been assigned were only too happy to clear out when she sent them a dead-eyed glare. She wasn't all that hungry anyway, and it was nice to have a moment of privacy while she attempted to control herself.

_Stupid to cry_ , Mikasa thought again to herself, angrily wiping her face with her sleeve once more. _Just get over it_.

That, unfortunately, was proving to be more difficult in practice.

The steps on the ladder were audible before whoever it was ascended, and Mikasa shot up, composing herself at the rail. The picture of a perfect, disciplined soldier.

"Hi," he said, and her spine stiffened. Eren was truly the last person she'd expected to come seek her out.

"Armin said you were up here, so I thought I'd come talk to you."

_Damn Armin_. He'd come up and sat with her for a while, saying kind things and averting his eyes as she cried, patting her back comfortingly. She didn't know he was gonna turn around and tell Eren, though.

She glanced at him, then back out to the horizon, the wall in the distance.

He sighed, then leaned on the rail beside her. She purposefully said nothing, because she really had nothing to say.

"Mikasa, look, I-" he started to say, then stopped himself, scratching his neck awkwardly. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

That was a new one.

Mikasa couldn't help as her eyes widened in surprise. Eren wasn't a mean person, typically. He was harsh and rash and tended to speak unfiltered. But apologies from him were rare, at least towards her.

Eren frowned at her. "What's with that face?"

She blinked, looking away again, waving a hand. "It doesn't matter, forget about it."

_It does matter_ , a part of her thought, the part that was trying to force her to cry all over again. _It hurts and that matters_.

On the rail, she could see as Eren clenched his fists against the wood. "It- Mikasa, it does too matter! What I said, you gotta know I didn't mean it."

She just shook her head, trying to push the stinging in her eyes away. "I know. So drop it."

"Dammit Mikasa, can I just have a conversation without you shutting it down immediately!"

His anger kindled her own and she rounded on him. "What do you _want_ me to say? It's just words, Eren. It doesn't matter. It's said and done, so there's no point in dwelling on it."

Eren's nostrils flared. "So why did you drop this, then?" he asked, accentuating the words by lifting up her red scarf. "If it didn't matter at all?"

_Since when do you care_? she thought harshly at him, but she kept her mouth closed. Still, she felt a bit of relief in her heart, knowing he'd picked it up and it hadn't been left in the dust for someone else to take or throw out.

Eren sighed, letting his shoulders sink. "Seriously, can you just hear me out?"

Mikasa turned away, leaning again on the rail. "Say whatever you want."

Eren did likewise, and she watched as his fingers fiddled with the red material. "Sometimes you drive me nuts with the way you act, like how you protect me, or baby me, or some shit like that. I didn't ask you to do that. But I would never leave you there in that place alone. I don't regret risking my life to save you that night. I never have, because that means you were safe. And no amount of annoyance is gonna change that."

She didn't reply, except to internally curse herself for the single drop the fell from her eye.

Eren turned towards her, taking a step closer to her, tilting his head a bit to see her face. "Sorry I said what I said. It was a dick move."

Mikasa shrugged, wiping quickly at her face. "It's okay."

Eren nodded for a moment, then held up her scarf again. "Do you want this back?"

Feeling small and more emotional than she would like, Mikasa mutely nodded in response. Eren brought it up to fall around her shoulders, then wrapped it around her neck, then her face and up on the top of her head; similar to the way he'd wrapped her up in it when he'd given it to her in the first place. It was good to feel the soft warmth around her again. She didn't even fix it, just let it linger against her face. It had been a while since the material had smelt like Eren, so now that that light, homely smell lingered on it, it was just that much warmer.

A weight seemed to lift off her shoulders at Eren's words, tension held in her back loosening. It had been unfair to doubt him at all. She knew him, she knew his heart, and through it all, this was who Eren was. The boy who wrapped the scarf around her when she was at her lowest, lifting her up again. How could she have ever started to doubt him?

"Thank you, Eren," she murmured, touching her fingers to the scarf, pressing it closer to her mouth.

"Yeah," Eren replied. "Oh, wait a second!" He exclaimed, rummaging through his coat.

"Here," he said, handing her a dinner roll. "You skipped dinner, so I saved mine for you."

Mikasa felt heat rising to her face, then ducked deep into the folds of her scarf again. "You should eat it. You need to keep up your strength."

Eren tched, then shoved it into her hands. "Cut the crap and eat the damn bread."

She looked down at the bread with a smile. "Thank you, Eren," she repeated before taking a bite. 

"No problem," he replied curtly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Lemmie know what you thought below!

**Author's Note:**

> And end part 1... Any questions or concerns, please leave in the comments <3


End file.
